How do you grow as a man? You become the man God created in you by going through the different stages of manhood. But how does that work? How do you grow from stage to stage?
Growth is not automatic!
A seed needs the right environment to grow, and a journey becomes a success through intentionally making one step after another. In the same way, growth as a man happens through an intentional, pro-active and focused pursuit.
So, what does that look like? How can you become proactive and focused in becoming the man God created in you?
How to get started on your growth journey
First: You have to accept and take responsibility for your own life!
At your birth, God appointed you to be the leader of your life. That means that you have the responsibility for the outcome of your life. Jesus can lead you exactly to the outcome He created you for – but you have to make Him Lord by submitting your life and free will to His Lordship, and co-lead under Him. He will never override your free will!
That means you take ownership of your life, of your actions and attitudes. It is a change in attitude and approach to your own life, where you are no longer a victim to your past or circumstances. You can change the direction of your life at any time.
I highly recommend the books ”Living Forward” by Michael Hyatt, and ”Seven habits of highly effective people” by Stephen Covey on that topic.
After you made that choice, there are several ways you can partner with God in walking the journey of manhood. Below I am going to tell you how God has lead me to apply that in my own life, and what is helping me on my journey:
1. Relationship with God
God knows you better than you know yourself, He can show you exactly where you need to grow in this season and at this time.
Personally, God showed me this year that I need to grow in the area of finances: in knowledge of how to manage personal finances, and in my attitude and beliefs about it. So, this is one of the two areas I focus my growth on.
Do a ”fruit to root examination” together with Holy Spirit: What fruits don’t you like in your life? To each fruit there is a root. Ask Holy Spirit what needs to change in your life in order for that fruit to change!
Sometimes the root to a bad fruit is found in your past, or in an ungodly belief in your heart that needs to be replaced with the truth.
2. Discern where you need to grow
Find yourself in the stages, and ask Jesus: what is required of me in that stage?
Focus your growth and faithfulness on the essentials of that stage.
Personally, I got married this summer, and am in the ”lover”-stage. So, the second area I focus my growth on is becoming a better husband and learning how to be a Jesus-like husband to my wife.
There are two main areas you can choose to grow in:
a) An area of choice: this can be your attitude, your thought life or your words. It includes also your habits, and intentional actions like generosity.
b) An area of skill: what are your strengths, talents and giftedness? Pick a skill set where you want to improve that is inline with your calling and purpose.
Write out a plan how you want to grow in each of these areas, and follow through on it.
3. Cut the chains that hold you back
There can be things in your past that you never have dealt with that are holding you back from moving forward on the manhood journey. This can be unhealed wounds, ungodly beliefs in your heart, or things that you never have forgiven. Two areas you can start looking at are:
A) Your identity as beloved son.
Look at the relationship to your father – it has big impact on how you see God as father and what you believe about yourself. You can’t be the mighty warrior or king if you aren’t the beloved son first.
B) Forgiveness.
Unforgiveness is a chain holding you back. Forgiving those who hurt you cuts it, and opens for God to restore your heart.
I highly recommend ministries like Restoring the Foundation or Sozo, which helped me greatly on the journey!
In 1.Tim. 4,12 Paul tells Timothy to become an example for others. The Greek word for ”example” is ”týpos” which literally means ”a model forged by repetition”!
It paints the picture of a smith forging a mighty sword through repeated strikes with his hammer, until it finally is a masterpiece that can serve the king in war, and is a standard for other swords.
Consistency is the key for growth! It is what will form your character as a man, forging out the man God has created in you.
Where are you at on the journey of manhood? What are your next intentional steps in becoming the man God created in you?
Write those steps out, post them in the comment section to inspire other men to take action on their growth too!
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